I miss ....

someone to go home to
someone who understands my quirks
someone who loves me for who i am
companionship
saying silly things
meaningful conversations that last into the night
cuddling
total acceptance





not being lonely

Catching up / Music

I have been lacking things to say lately. It's not that I have nothing happening in my life, but I don't seem to have the ability to verbalize any of it. I'll just say that there have been a string of disappointments combined with huge amounts of work stress.

My date last night stood me up, so instead of acting on any of my destructive behavior urges I went to ear x-tacy to drown my sorrows in music. I looked for colourmusic's album, but they had to order it for me. so instead I got !!!'s (pronounced chk-chk-chk) "Myth Takes" album and "Chunk of Change" by Passion Pit. Both albums have proved to be hella awesome and dance-worthy.

I also found out that coffee + zunes don't mix. Now what am I going to do to get my music fix? I want to get an ipod but the price of them makes me cringe. Blah.

I am hoping to have something else to say soon. I heart my blog family!

The Illusion Ends

I have not really heard back from Awesome Date Guy. I guess that means it wasn't as awesome as I thought. Ugh, this learning to date thing sucks.

Neurosis

Once I think that my self-esteem is where it should be something happens to knock it down a few notches. It's usually something internal and stupid; like what I experienced last weekend.

My ladies and I went out for an evening of dancing at ye olde Flanagans derby night. First, I have no idea what possessed us to think that this was a good idea but it sounded like fun at the time. The douchebags with popped collars count was astronomical! What got me realizing that maybe I wasn't feeling as good about myself as I should was when - out of my group - some dude would make a pass on all of the ladies, get rejected, and then settle with me. Of course they got the stink eye and an elbow jab from me.

Each one of us in our group has our own self-esteem issues, and we talk about this freely, but damn! I am getting tired of the roller coaster.